Growing your self-confidence

Every now and then we come across some very good information and  we'd like to share it with you. 
This is rather good:  It's adapted from an article by psychotherapist and executive coach, Jonathan Alpert and originally published at www.inc.com on June 22, 2015

A few simple steps to building your confidence.
1. Watch your self-talk.
How do you speak to yourself:  is it positive or negative? 
Posititive self-talk encourages us to move forward while negative self-talk will keep you stuck. 
Imagine if every time Pat Cash went onto the court he thought, “I’m off my game, I’ll never win this game.”   Would he have played a good game?
Sometimes our fears tip us into negative thinking. It is how we protect ourselves from what we fear might be a difficult or dangerous situation.
The problem is we don't consider whether our thoughts are real or imagined. 
Taking your career to the next level, asking someone out on a date, or saying how you really feel, is not life threatening.

2. Cut out the social comparison.
Comparing ourselves with others does not help you. I wonder how many times a day that little voice inside says I'm not as good as ..............; or ..........is better (smarter, 
stronger, etc.) than I am.
It has been said that "comparisons are odious" - literally meaning they stink.  Comparisons with others not only do not serve us, but can keep us stuck. 
If your mind starts to compare, ask yourself, “How will this help me? 

3. Know what you want.
Knowing where you want to go and when you want to get there is very useful when you set out on a journey. 
It's the same in life:  getting your goals clear will help you move forward with confidence.
Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People 
said: “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.”

4. Know your strengths.
Know what you're good at, what are your strengths? What  are you good at?  Then focus on what you are good at, not on your weaknesses.  

5. Eliminate the “what-ifs.”
Imagining the worst can shake your beliefs and cause you to doubt yourself.  If you slip and  start to think “what-if,” change your thinking to “I will.”

6. Forget about being perfect.
So often people don’t pursue things because they feel it has to be just right.  They spend so long thinking about getting something perfect that they end up being paralysed by anxiety and self-doubt or do a half-good job. Either way can erode your confidence even more.

7. Speak.
Simply put, open your mouth and say something. Sure, think before you speak, but speak up: dare to speak your truth - you might be pleasantly surprised by who listens to you and connects with you.

8. Be resilient.
There will always be those who doubt you, but don’t let that stop you from speaking up.  It's worth taking a chance, and doing what you believe in. Criticism just means you got people thinking. It might also mean that others don't share your point of view, and that's ok.  Speaking your truth makes you feel more confident, and more honest.  
Listen to feedback, assess it, make a decision, then focused on what you believe in and be your authentic self.  
Anyway, it's much easier being yourself, and everyone else is taken.

Best wishes to you as you learn to become more confident every day.